| In online dating, we meet a lot of people through the | | | | the service. My advice is politely bid them farewell and |
| tools of instant messaging, email, and chat rooms. But | | | | move on to greener pastures. |
| putting up a fake profile to others in chat settings is | | | | To sort out if the person you just met is really as |
| epidemic online. So you need some tips on how to | | | | wonderful as they seem or if they are a poser, be |
| spot what they call a poser online. | | | | clever and alert as you talk and look for these clues: |
| It is a strange phenomenon but you meet someone in | | | | Do they move too quickly to talk about sex? People |
| chat and they start to open up to you. Before long you | | | | that want a relationship do not go there very fast. If |
| figure out this person is posing. Posing takes on many | | | | they really want to get to know you they will go slow |
| forms. It might be a man posing as a woman. It might | | | | and not rush to get intimate online. |
| be someone not being his or her real age. You | | | | Do they try not to tell you very much about their past? |
| wonder, Why do they do it? Well the reasons, while | | | | Most people have rich histories to share from and |
| sad, are not that hard to understand. | | | | many funny stories to tell. If your friend does not offer |
| To get some attention. Being in a chat room and not | | | | those generously, it might be because there is no past |
| getting any chats is a very lonely experience. If a guy | | | | to the character he or she is playing. |
| cannot get a conversation with a girl, he might pose as | | | | Watch for gender mistakes. If you are dealing with a |
| a girl just for the conversation. They use the fake ID to | | | | poser who is not being their real gender, they probably |
| replace what a good personality and ability to be real | | | | do not understand the gender they are trying to |
| would get them otherwise. | | | | portray. You have talked to a real girl and a genuine |
| In a word . . . for sex. The dirty underbelly of chat | | | | man; they will express themselves easily and |
| rooms is online sex. Now there is nothing wrong with | | | | appropriately. |
| cybersex in its own right, but when you are online to | | | | Do they avoid voice contact, have few pictures or |
| find a relationship, a romance and a soul mate, going | | | | keep stalling on making contact via webcam? Then |
| straight to sex just does not work. But for many online, | | | | obviously they are not who they have presented to |
| that is all they want and by giving you the most | | | | you. Even if they provide a picture, this may be so. It is |
| attractive image they can dream up, they often get | | | | a sad thing to report but posers steal pictures to |
| what they want. | | | | complete their persona. |
| To harvest future contacts. In some chat services, you | | | | Keep some notes on your talks, particularly about their |
| can have multiple profiles or personas. So one ploy | | | | personal details and history. The good thing about IM is |
| posers use is to meet you perhaps as the same | | | | you can save your talks as text files to refer to later. If |
| gender as you are, become friends and learn what | | | | the relationship goes for a while, they may not |
| you like and dislike in a lover and then build a profile to | | | | remember their own past very well and you can catch |
| give you just that thing. It is manipulation and it is wrong | | | | those mistakes which show they are lying. |
| but it happens. So what you need are ways to sort | | | | After a while you will become skilled at flushing out |
| out if the person you are chatting with is genuine or a | | | | posers and be able to identify them easily so you can |
| fake. If you find a fake, you can decide what to do | | | | move past those contacts and nurture relationships |
| about it. You can block them and that is that. Or you | | | | with genuine people who are being honest and open |
| can try to help them come clean with you so you can | | | | with you and want to develop that kind of romance, |
| build a real relationship with them. Or you can even go | | | | the kind that can grow and become a beautiful part of |
| as far as reporting them so they will be punished by | | | | each of your lives. |