| In online dating, we meet a lot of people | | | | greener pastures. |
| through the tools of instant messaging, | | | | |
| email, and chat rooms. But putting up a fake | | | | To sort out if the person you just met is |
| profile to others in chat settings is | | | | really as wonderful as they seem or if they |
| epidemic online. So you need some tips on how | | | | are a poser, be clever and alert as you talk |
| to spot what they call a poser online. | | | | and look for these clues: |
| | | | |
| It is a strange phenomenon but you meet | | | | Do they move too quickly to talk about sex? |
| someone in chat and they start to open up to | | | | People that want a relationship do not go |
| you. Before long you figure out this person | | | | there very fast. If they really want to get |
| is posing. Posing takes on many forms. It | | | | to know you they will go slow and not rush to |
| might be a man posing as a woman. It might be | | | | get intimate online. |
| someone not being his or her real age. You | | | | |
| wonder, Why do they do it? Well the reasons, | | | | Do they try not to tell you very much about |
| while sad, are not that hard to understand. | | | | their past? Most people have rich histories |
| | | | to share from and many funny stories to tell. |
| To get some attention. Being in a chat room | | | | If your friend does not offer those |
| and not getting any chats is a very lonely | | | | generously, it might be because there is no |
| experience. If a guy cannot get a | | | | past to the character he or she is playing. |
| conversation with a girl, he might pose as a | | | | |
| girl just for the conversation. They use the | | | | Watch for gender mistakes. If you are dealing |
| fake ID to replace what a good personality | | | | with a poser who is not being their real |
| and ability to be real would get them | | | | gender, they probably do not understand the |
| otherwise. | | | | gender they are trying to portray. You have |
| | | | talked to a real girl and a genuine man; they |
| In a word . . . for sex. The dirty underbelly | | | | will express themselves easily and |
| of chat rooms is online sex. Now there is | | | | appropriately. |
| nothing wrong with cybersex in its own right, | | | | |
| but when you are online to find a | | | | Do they avoid voice contact, have few |
| relationship, a romance and a soul mate, | | | | pictures or keep stalling on making contact |
| going straight to sex just does not work. But | | | | via webcam? Then obviously they are not who |
| for many online, that is all they want and by | | | | they have presented to you. Even if they |
| giving you the most attractive image they can | | | | provide a picture, this may be so. It is a |
| dream up, they often get what they want. | | | | sad thing to report but posers steal pictures |
| | | | to complete their persona. |
| To harvest future contacts. In some chat | | | | |
| services, you can have multiple profiles or | | | | Keep some notes on your talks, particularly |
| personas. So one ploy posers use is to meet | | | | about their personal details and history. The |
| you perhaps as the same gender as you are, | | | | good thing about IM is you can save your |
| become friends and learn what you like and | | | | talks as text files to refer to later. If the |
| dislike in a lover and then build a profile | | | | relationship goes for a while, they may not |
| to give you just that thing. It is | | | | remember their own past very well and you can |
| manipulation and it is wrong but it happens. | | | | catch those mistakes which show they are |
| So what you need are ways to sort out if the | | | | lying. |
| person you are chatting with is genuine or a | | | | |
| fake. If you find a fake, you can decide what | | | | After a while you will become skilled at |
| to do about it. You can block them and that | | | | flushing out posers and be able to identify |
| is that. Or you can try to help them come | | | | them easily so you can move past those |
| clean with you so you can build a real | | | | contacts and nurture relationships with |
| relationship with them. Or you can even go as | | | | genuine people who are being honest and open |
| far as reporting them so they will be | | | | with you and want to develop that kind of |
| punished by the service. My advice is | | | | romance, the kind that can grow and become a |
| politely bid them farewell and move on to | | | | beautiful part of each of your lives. |