| Is your teenager ready to make tough
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| | concerns. Reward questions by saying ,
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| choices about sex? Uncomfortable as it
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| | "I'm glad you came to me."
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| may be, sex education is your
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| | Addressing tough topics
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| responsibility. Here's help getting
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| | Sex education includes abstinence, date
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| started.
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| | rape, homosexuality and other tough
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| You understand the importance of sex
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| | topics. Be prepared for questions like
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| education. But don't count on classroom
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| | these:
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| instruction alone. Although the basics
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| | How will I know I'm ready for sex?
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| may be covered in health class, your
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| | Various factors — peer pressure,
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| child might not hear everything he or she
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| | curiosity and loneliness, to name a few
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| needs to know.
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| | — steer some teenagers into early
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| That's where you come in. Awkward as it
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| | sexual activity. But there's no rush.
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| may be, sex education is a parent's
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| | Remind your child that it's OK to wait.
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| responsibility. By reinforcing and
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| | Sex is an adult behavior. In the
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| supplementing what your child learns in
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| | meantime, there are many other ways to
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| school, you can help your child make good
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| | express affection — intimate talks,
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| decisions about sex.
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| | long walks, holding hands, listening to
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| Breaking the ice
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| | music, dancing, kissing, touching and
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| Sex is a staple of news, entertainment
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| | hugging.
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| and advertising. It's often hard to avoid
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| | What if my boyfriend or girlfriend wants
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| this ever-present topic. But when parents
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| | to have sex — but I don't? Explain that
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| and children need to talk, it isn't
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| | no one should have sex out of a sense of
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| always so easy.
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| | obligation or fear. Any form of forced
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| If you wait for the perfect moment, you
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| | sex is rape, whether the perpetrator is a
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| might miss the best opportunities.
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| | stranger or someone your child has been
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| Instead, think of sex education as an
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| | dating. Impress upon your child that no
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| ongoing conversation. Here are some ideas
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| | always means no. Emphasize that alcohol
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| to help you get started — and keep the
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| | and drugs impair judgment and reduce
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| discussion going.
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| | inhibitions, leading to situations in
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| Seize the moment. When a TV program or
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| | which date rape is more likely to occur.
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| music video raises issues about
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| | What if I think I'm gay? Many teens
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| responsible sexual behavior, use it as a
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| | wonder at some point whether they're gay
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| springboard for discussion. If a good
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| | or bisexual. Help your child understand
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| topic comes up at an inconvenient time,
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| | that he or she is just beginning to
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| say you'd like to talk more about it
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| | explore sexual attraction. These feelings
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| later — then actually do so.
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| | may change as time goes on. Above all,
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| Keep it low-key. Don't pressure your
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| | however, let your child know that you
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| child to talk about sex. Simply broach
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| | love him or her unconditionally. Praise
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| the subject when you're alone with your
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| | your child for sharing his or her
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| child. Sometimes everyday moments —
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| | feelings.
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| such as riding in the car, putting away
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| | Responding to behavior
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| groceries or sharing a late-night snack
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| | If your child becomes sexually active —
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| — offer the best opportunities to talk.
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| | whether you think he or she is ready or
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|
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| | not — it may be more important than
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| Be honest. If you're uncomfortable, say
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| | ever to keep the conversation going.
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| so — but explain that it's important to
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| | State your feelings and calmly explain
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| keep talking. If you don't know how to
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| | your objections. You might say, "I'm
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| answer your child's questions, offer to
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| | disappointed in your decision to have
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| find the answers or look them up
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| | sex. I don't think it's appropriate or
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| together.
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| | healthy for you to have sex right now.
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| Be direct. Clearly state your feelings
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| | But the decision is yours. I expect you
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| about specific issues, such as oral sex
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| | to take the associated responsibilities
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| and intercourse. Present the risks
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| | seriously."
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| objectively, including emotional pain,
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| | Stress the importance of contraception
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| sexually transmitted diseases and
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| | and keeping a sexual relationship
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| unplanned pregnancy. Explain that oral
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| | exclusive — not only as a matter of
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| sex isn't a risk-free alternative to
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| | trust and respect but also to reduce the
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| intercourse.
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| | risk of sexually transmitted diseases.
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| Consider your child's point of view.
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| | Also set and enforce reasonable
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| Don't lecture your child or rely on scare
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| | boundaries, such as curfews and rules
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| tactics to discourage sexual activity.
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| | about visits from friends of the opposite
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| Instead, listen carefully. Understand
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| | sex.
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| your child's pressures, challenges and
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| | Your child's doctor can help, too. A
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| concerns.
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| | routine checkup can give your child the
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| Move beyond the facts. Your child needs
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| | opportunity to address sexual activity
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| accurate information about sex. But it's
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| | and other behaviors in a supportive,
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| just as important to talk about feelings,
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| | confidential atmosphere.
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| attitudes and values. Examine questions
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| | Looking ahead
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| of ethics and responsibility in the
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| | With your support, your child can emerge
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| context of your personal or religious
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| | into a sexually responsible adult. Be
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| beliefs.
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| | honest and speak from the heart. Even if
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| Invite more discussion. Let your child
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| | your child remains silent, he or she will
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| know that it's OK to talk with you about
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| | hear you.
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| sex whenever he or she has questions or
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|
