| Is your teenager ready to make tough | | | | concerns. Reward questions by saying , |
| choices about sex? Uncomfortable as it | | | | "I'm glad you came to me." |
| may be, sex education is your | | | | Addressing tough topics |
| responsibility. Here's help getting | | | | Sex education includes abstinence, date |
| started. | | | | rape, homosexuality and other tough |
| You understand the importance of sex | | | | topics. Be prepared for questions like |
| education. But don't count on classroom | | | | these: |
| instruction alone. Although the basics | | | | How will I know I'm ready for sex? |
| may be covered in health class, your | | | | Various factors — peer pressure, |
| child might not hear everything he or | | | | curiosity and loneliness, to name a few |
| she needs to know. | | | | — steer some teenagers into early |
| That's where you come in. Awkward as it | | | | sexual activity. But there's no rush. |
| may be, sex education is a parent's | | | | Remind your child that it's OK to wait. |
| responsibility. By reinforcing and | | | | Sex is an adult behavior. In the |
| supplementing what your child learns in | | | | meantime, there are many other ways to |
| school, you can help your child make | | | | express affection — intimate talks, |
| good decisions about sex. | | | | long walks, holding hands, listening to |
| Breaking the ice | | | | music, dancing, kissing, touching and |
| Sex is a staple of news, entertainment | | | | hugging. |
| and advertising. It's often hard to | | | | What if my boyfriend or girlfriend wants |
| avoid this ever-present topic. But when | | | | to have sex — but I don't? Explain |
| parents and children need to talk, it | | | | that no one should have sex out of a |
| isn't always so easy. | | | | sense of obligation or fear. Any form of |
| If you wait for the perfect moment, you | | | | forced sex is rape, whether the |
| might miss the best opportunities. | | | | perpetrator is a stranger or someone |
| Instead, think of sex education as an | | | | your child has been dating. Impress upon |
| ongoing conversation. Here are some | | | | your child that no always means no. |
| ideas to help you get started — and | | | | Emphasize that alcohol and drugs impair |
| keep the discussion going. | | | | judgment and reduce inhibitions, leading |
| Seize the moment. When a TV program or | | | | to situations in which date rape is more |
| music video raises issues about | | | | likely to occur. |
| responsible sexual behavior, use it as a | | | | What if I think I'm gay? Many teens |
| springboard for discussion. If a good | | | | wonder at some point whether they're gay |
| topic comes up at an inconvenient time, | | | | or bisexual. Help your child understand |
| say you'd like to talk more about it | | | | that he or she is just beginning to |
| later — then actually do so. | | | | explore sexual attraction. These |
| Keep it low-key. Don't pressure your | | | | feelings may change as time goes on. |
| child to talk about sex. Simply broach | | | | Above all, however, let your child know |
| the subject when you're alone with your | | | | that you love him or her |
| child. Sometimes everyday moments — | | | | unconditionally. Praise your child for |
| such as riding in the car, putting away | | | | sharing his or her feelings. |
| groceries or sharing a late-night snack | | | | Responding to behavior |
| — offer the best opportunities to | | | | If your child becomes sexually active |
| talk. | | | | — whether you think he or she is ready |
| Be honest. If you're uncomfortable, say | | | | or not — it may be more important than |
| so — but explain that it's important | | | | ever to keep the conversation going. |
| to keep talking. If you don't know how | | | | State your feelings and calmly explain |
| to answer your child's questions, offer | | | | your objections. You might say, "I'm |
| to find the answers or look them up | | | | disappointed in your decision to have |
| together. | | | | sex. I don't think it's appropriate or |
| Be direct. Clearly state your feelings | | | | healthy for you to have sex right now. |
| about specific issues, such as oral sex | | | | But the decision is yours. I expect you |
| and intercourse. Present the risks | | | | to take the associated responsibilities |
| objectively, including emotional pain, | | | | seriously." |
| sexually transmitted diseases and | | | | Stress the importance of contraception |
| unplanned pregnancy. Explain that oral | | | | and keeping a sexual relationship |
| sex isn't a risk-free alternative to | | | | exclusive — not only as a matter of |
| intercourse. | | | | trust and respect but also to reduce the |
| Consider your child's point of view. | | | | risk of sexually transmitted diseases. |
| Don't lecture your child or rely on | | | | Also set and enforce reasonable |
| scare tactics to discourage sexual | | | | boundaries, such as curfews and rules |
| activity. Instead, listen carefully. | | | | about visits from friends of the |
| Understand your child's pressures, | | | | opposite sex. |
| challenges and concerns. | | | | Your child's doctor can help, too. A |
| Move beyond the facts. Your child needs | | | | routine checkup can give your child the |
| accurate information about sex. But it's | | | | opportunity to address sexual activity |
| just as important to talk about | | | | and other behaviors in a supportive, |
| feelings, attitudes and values. Examine | | | | confidential atmosphere. |
| questions of ethics and responsibility | | | | Looking ahead |
| in the context of your personal or | | | | With your support, your child can emerge |
| religious beliefs. | | | | into a sexually responsible adult. Be |
| Invite more discussion. Let your child | | | | honest and speak from the heart. Even if |
| know that it's OK to talk with you about | | | | your child remains silent, he or she |
| sex whenever he or she has questions or | | | | will hear you. |