| What do we do when we first get married? We | | | | shouldn't get in the way of taking the time each week |
| usually go on a honeymoon. That is why the first part | | | | to play together. Get a sitter and go out and enjoy |
| of a marriage can be called the honeymoon phase. | | | | dinner and a movie, or whatever activities you like. |
| We feel deeply in love, bonded, and connected. We | | | | Playing as a couple regularly will keep both of you |
| feel like our marriage will help us to live happily ever | | | | sane and a lot happier, studies have shown. |
| after. | | | | A third great marriage tip is to learn the skill of making |
| One of the first marriage tips that you should | | | | powerful requests of your mate. When you are |
| understand is that the "honeymoon phase" of our | | | | bothered or irritated by something, make a request. If |
| marriage is just that. It is just a phase. It won't last. That | | | | he doesn't help with the dishes and this frustrates you, |
| close, can't spend enough time with my spouse feeling | | | | then ask him to help. Don't expect him to read your |
| is temporary. Then we move into the Me/Us phase, | | | | mind! Asking for what you want will make you more |
| where we have to disengage some and get on with | | | | likely to get it. |
| our own goals and life. | | | | Turning complaints into requests is one of the best |
| In this phase of the relationship, we can still love our | | | | marriage tips you can use over the long term. Your |
| spouse strongly, but we want to focus also on our | | | | spouse won't always say yes to your requests, but it |
| own goals in life. We may want to spend more time | | | | will be more likely to get you what you need more |
| alone, or at work, or with our own friends on our own | | | | often than yelling and nagging will. Look. You are going |
| hobbies. This is completely normal and there is nothing | | | | to have complaints in your marriage and about your |
| wrong. | | | | mate. That is going to happen. |
| If you think marriages should stay in the honeymoon | | | | If you handle those complaints by nagging, you |
| phase, you will be gravely disappointed. You may fight | | | | damage the relationship. If you deal with your |
| with our mate over how much time they want to | | | | complaints by withdrawing, you damage the |
| spend alone or why they want to be with their friends | | | | relationship. If you expect your mate to read your mind |
| instead of you. But if you can allow some separation | | | | and just know what you want, then you will be often |
| and get on with your own life some, you will benefit | | | | disappointed. Learning the powerful skill of making |
| from this phase. | | | | intimate requests won't fix all your complaints, but it will |
| A second marriage tip has to do with a key to any | | | | help with most of them. |
| great long term relationship. That key is to play. Do not | | | | So if you can introduce the tool of turning complaints |
| let the burdens of job and and children and outside | | | | into requests into your marriage, you will both benefit |
| responsibilities get in the way of enjoying each other. | | | | over the years. It isn't hard to do, and it is a great way |
| You can end up too tired or busy to play together. | | | | to deal with ongoing irritations that can arise between |
| Sure, it is natural over time in marriage to spend a lot | | | | you. |
| of time on our career or hobbies or children. But this | | | | |