About your Marriage Counselor

Your marriage counselor is a skilled facilitator whoexpectations and needs.
helps engaged, newly married or established couplesRemember also that marriage counseling is for both
reduce or eliminate the stress in their relationships thatpartners. Make sure your spouse is actively
often brings great pain and unhappiness. Theseparticipates in the search for a therapist, and that they
stresses originate from complex emotional problemsare included in the actual counseling sessions.
which routinely arise as a result of problems outsideSome basic questions to ask a prospective counselor
the home. Issues relating to career, family, money, andinclude:
children combine with poor communications and coping How many years has he or she been in practice?
skills, to erode over time, the emotional foundation of What are the counselor’s education and
the marriage. By identifying and resolving the issuesprofessional qualifications? Be sure to research the
that generate this stress, the marriage counselor helpvalidity of any given.
couples move beyond their present difficulties while What methods does the marriage counselor use
arming them with strategies that aid in the avoidanceto help motivate clients to complete their counseling?
of similar problems in the future. Does the prospective counselor suggest
One of the most important roles played by a marriagestrategies to solve your marital problems or are you
counselor is to help couples overcome feelings thatexpected to discover this on your own?
lead them to believe that any effort to improve theirInterview more than one potential counselor then
relationship is a waste of time. This encouragement iszero-in on the one or two that leave you feeling most
particularly important when one spouse is morecomfortable and confident of success. As part of this
discouraged than the other. Qualified marriageresearch, always ask about what the fees are; ask
counselors also bring a fresh perspective to maritalwhat the terms of payment are and never agree to
problems and offer unique insights into specific issuespaying for service before it’s delivered. Be
that can preoccupy couples who try to work thingscautious, too, about signing up for any program before
through alone.you’ve had time to think or to compare what
A marriage counselor also helps couples to avoidother professionals offer.
painful emotional situations and provides a plan ofRelationships are dynamic, changing and adapting
action that helps to restore the romantic attraction andmany times over their lifetime. Conflict, like change, is
love a marriage originally contained with.inevitable in all relationships. How well each partner
Finding a marriage counselor begins in many ways.reacts to conflict spells the difference between a
You may start with a recommendation from a friendrelationship that brings joy and happiness, and one that
or from a listing you find in your local yellow pages.brings misery and grief. The marriage counselor is a
Your doctor or clergyman may also furnish a list ofskilled professional who brings couples together to
names, too. It is important to interview prospectiveresolve their differences before time and bad habits
counselors to determine whose approach meets yourcan pull them apart.