| I imagine that a lot of expectant parents and new | | | | bond between us. |
| parents would be delighted if they could read a book | | | | * In good weather I found that putting our baby in the |
| or take a course or watch a DVD to train for the job | | | | yard in the baby carriage helped baby to sleep and |
| of being a mom and a dad. Perhaps an increased level | | | | gave them plenty of fresh air. I realize that that this is |
| of marketing has brought about the deluge of | | | | not practical these days as yards are not always |
| parenting advice - but more than ever, parents seem | | | | fenced, many moms have to work and strollers have |
| to need to rely on these things. Unfortunately, no two | | | | replaced the more traditional baby carriages. |
| babies are alike and so the idea of a standard | | | | * Using a routine was very important to us, even |
| approach just doesn't work. | | | | though there were conflicting opinions by then. Bedtime |
| One thought to bear in mind from the beginning is that | | | | was preceded by a bath and then a feed, plus a story |
| so-called "expert" recommendations change | | | | reading as soon as they were old enough to |
| periodically. For example, sixty or seventy years ago | | | | understand. This routine carried on into later childhood |
| the perceived wisdom was that a baby who cried | | | | and I believe it relaxed them and helped them to have |
| should not be immediately picked up because that | | | | a better night's sleep. |
| would train him to expect instant attention. Instead, the | | | | * Promoting speech and language development |
| realization right from the start that baby had to fit into | | | | through conversations. I would talk to them at every |
| a routine was an essential preparation for his or her | | | | chance and about everything that came to mind, |
| acclimatization to life's realities later on. | | | | whether we were going out to the supermarket, |
| Dr Benjamin Spock was the first child care expert | | | | driving around, getting dressed or simply cleaning the |
| who went against the conventional wisdom of the | | | | house. |
| time. Whether you agree or disagree with his opinions | | | | * Setting aside time during the day for quality time and |
| he was very influential in changing western society's | | | | sharing - I used to get my chores done before lunch |
| view on parenting. He argued that babies should be | | | | and then the rest of the day was devoted solely to |
| treated as individuals who did not fit into a disciplined | | | | the children. |
| routine and that cuddling and kissing your baby when | | | | * Presenting a united front to the children when it came |
| they cried would not spoil him or her. Over the years | | | | to matters of discipline and routine. Children are just |
| many more child care experts have emerged with | | | | great at driving a wedge between Mom and Dad, |
| varying opinions as to the right and wrong way to bring | | | | even when they are very young, so we handled any |
| up baby. | | | | Mom and Dad debates when the children were not |
| My first-hand experience at parenting began more | | | | around. |
| than thirty years ago and at that time, despite Dr | | | | * Maintaining consistency: we were always prepared |
| Spock and others, moms relied more on family and | | | | to explain what the "rules" were and we worked hard |
| friends and particularly their own instincts to figure out | | | | to keep the rules the same, wherever possible, |
| how to deal with their new bundle of joy. Learning | | | | because our children seemed to respect and respond |
| about child care from books was a rarity but doctors | | | | to that. |
| and midwives were available to provide help where | | | | All of this is far from a comprehensive blueprint and it |
| required. | | | | certainly shouldn't be used as a fixed code of practice, |
| And although I definitely don't consider myself an | | | | because it will not be suitable for every family. Some |
| expert on child care, I wanted to outline the main things | | | | parents will have different ways of doing thins that are |
| that I believe helped me and my children so that it may | | | | equally successful - and in particular, different babies |
| provoke your thoughts and ideas: | | | | will respond differently. There is no "workshop manual" |
| * Talking to my babies during breast feeding and bottle | | | | you can use! But you may find the tips give you some |
| feeding: that added to the closeness and increased the | | | | ideas in your own child raising tasks. |