| We all face disagreements in marriage from time to | | | | actions are harmful and which are helpful. Yes, people |
| time. How we deal with them is very important, not | | | | cause problems, but if you address the actions and the |
| only at the time, but for the health of our marriage as | | | | reactions then you're minimizing the need to be |
| well. Let me give you some beneficial ingredients for | | | | defensive. Saying, "You don't care about me at all and |
| compromise in marriage that will build your marriage up | | | | you never give me time" points a finger at the person. |
| instead of tear it down. | | | | Instead, you could state the problem like this, "I feel left |
| Be careful to realize that your relationship with your | | | | out of your life when you spend all your free time |
| spouse is the primary concern. Issues come and go, | | | | away from me." Make the issue and your feelings |
| but your marriage is for life. If you lose focus of that | | | | about it the issue, help your spouse to realize that their |
| then any problem can derail you. Remember you are | | | | actions are causing it. |
| facing life together, not against each other. God put | | | | Look at the issues realistically. The issues themselves |
| you together to help each other and to accomplish | | | | might even be not as much as a problem as we are |
| things in life together. Even if a disagreement comes | | | | making them out to be. Look at things realistically |
| between you look at it in terms of how you both will | | | | before you get too involved in a disagreement with |
| face it together. Ask your spouse how the two of you | | | | your spouse. Listen to your spouse's reasoning and |
| can look at the problem in such a way that doesn't | | | | needs, then measure them up with yours before you |
| come between you. | | | | make judgmental statements or cut and dry |
| Focus on the Issue. Since the real problem is the | | | | challenges. Ask God to help you with wisdom for the |
| problem, focus on it. Look to the Bible to see what | | | | issue at hand and for the care of your spouse's needs. |