Coaching Your Kids - Talking to Kids About Money

Right behind the subject of birds and bees, talking toright now) as absolute and unchangeable. To the
kids about money and wealth is one of the mostimpressionable mind of a child it may sound as a
difficult conversations for parents. Deciding what to tellpermanent reality and imply he comes from a family
them about earning, saving and growing cash can be acoursed with misfortune. It is far better and more
difficult task, particularly since many of us were neverproductive to avoid comparisons with other people and
given money management skills at home and perhapsestablish that your current situation can be changed.
still do not know a whole lot about the subject in theFocus on discussing possible actions that can improve
first place. This article will provide you with athe conditions of the family, such as avoiding
framework to discuss money with your kids, and willunnecessary expenses, reading books about investing,
help you establish a foundation to share your ownbrainstorming business ideas, etc.
values about wealth with them."If you want to have money, you have to work hard"
The current economic and credit crisis is, at the veryThis is my favorite one because it is only partially true,
least, anecdotal evidence that our views on moneytherefore extremely deceptive. Hard work can
need some improvement, specially if we hope ourproduce financial rewards and many wealthy people
children will not repeat our mistakes and will thereforeworked very hard to build and preserve their fortune.
become good earners, savers and stewards of theirHowever, hard work is another absolute view that
own wealth. A recent survey among high school andnegates other possibilities. For example, there are
college students revealed kids pick up their views andmany people who worked hard to find the right
values about money and finances at home, largelyopportunity and did not have to struggle so much once
through observation and by hearing their parents talkthey positioned themselves properly. This is how many
about money. In other words, whether we intentionallyfortunes in the Internet era were created. Others were
teach them or not, our kids will learn the good and thelost because some people put their heads down and
bad we have to offer regarding financial matters.worked hard without looking out for changes in the
Clearly, it would be a great step for us to make thishorizon. Hard work alone does not create wealth. It is
process more deliberate and ensure the way we seeonly through a combination of smart work and hard
money and what we teach our children about it iswork that we can succeed. Each one of them alone is
going to help them in the long run.not enough, you need both.
Money Is Energy: The New Metaphor"You need money to make money"
We live in a great country, where many people haveThis is a statement that is probably responsible for
started with nothing and built amazing fortunes. Manystalling the dreams of many people around the world. It
others have lost it all overnight due to corporateis technically true, but is deceptive as well. The
failures, fraud or poor judgment. For the rest of us,technicality is that you need investment funds to launch
however, money is what keeps a roof over oura new business, but the funds do not necessarily have
heads, gives us comfort, or even keeps us up at nightto come from you, they can come from investors. If
if we do not have what we need. For these reasons,the creator of a new great business idea does not
money is typically a very emotional subject. For some,have the money, there are ways to obtain it. There
money is insecurity, pain, and shame. For others,are countless examples of people with creative ability
money is pride, greed, fun and excitement. None ofwho started a business with an idea, and managed to
these emotions are ultimately healthy when they areconvince others to invest in them, give them free
attached to the way we see money. And whetheradvertising, etc. Today, there is a multi-billion dollar
we like it or not, we tend to pass on these emotionallyindustry of venture capitalists who pour billions every
charged views on money as part of our values to ouryear, regardless of what the economy is doing, into
children during their upbringing.new business ventures that have potential. Many fail,
Would you like to see your children growing up afraidbut they only need a few to succeed to make it worth
of money, or having an unhealthy attachment to whattheir while. If you teach your kids that a good idea is
money represents in terms of material things orworth a fortune (instead of telling them the statement
immediate gratification? My guess is you probablyabove) you will free them to think and create. Actually,
would not. This is why we need a different metaphorI would like to offer you a better statement: you need
when we discuss money. It is nothing to be feared orsalesmanship to make money. This is a lot more
pursued obsessively. Money is just energy. Energy isaccurate in the world of business. Many good ideas go
neutral and is all around us in the physical world. Thenowhere because the creator does not know how to
cash and ATM cards we keep in our pockets are justconvince others on the merits of his or her creation.
an expression of it.The good news is salesmanship is a learnable skill.
Imagine that you need a gallon of milk. Getting it isMake your kids aware of the importance of a good,
really simple, you reach into your pocket and use apersuasive and polished presentation and you may be
few dollars to buy your milk at the store. But whatopening for them the golden doors of success.
would happen if you could not get anyone to sell you"Rich People Are Rarely Happy"
milk in exchange for your money? You would have toI like this one because it is true. But wait, poor people
put in a lot of hard work to obtain it, perhaps driving toare rarely happy as well. In fact, human beings are
a distant dairy farm or raising a cow yourself! Thatrarely happy. Happiness is an emotional skill that is not
would certainly take a lot of valuable time and energyconnected to money in any way. It has to do with our
from you.ability to manage our emotions and be well adjusted to
In modern times, we do not have to take such drasticour environment. There are many books written on the
measures to procure a simple gallon of milk. We havesubject of happiness and how to obtain it but trust me,
figured out that it is far more efficient for each of us tomoney is a very small factor. Unless we are talking
specialize in our own function (a.k.a. our job), and tradeabout dying of an untreated disease or starvation,
units of energy (cash) in exchange for our labor andmoney is not going to put a durable smile on your face.
for what we need (food and shelter). This is a simpleWhat it will do is give you more choices, offer you
formula that works to optimize the flow and use ofinteresting experiences, get you peace of mind
energy of our society. In other words, money is energyregarding your bills and hopefully give you a chance to
and we get to have an amount that is proportional tocontribute to charitable causes. Do not look for
how much of energy we give out to the world.happiness in money, instead, accept that you like
The Properties of Energy, and Moneymoney and teach your children that it is okay to want
Any science book will tell you that energy has fourto have money and the comforts and opportunities it
key properties: it can be transferred, it can takeprovides. Do not deny the practical benefits of having
multiple forms, it can be only converted from one formmoney just because it can not give you happiness.
to another, and because of that, it can never beMoney and happiness are simply not connected. If you
created or destroyed. If you think about it, money haswant more happiness, get to know yourself, work
much in common with energy, as it can be transferredreally hard on your personal growth, and teach your
and it can be converted into many forms. Now, cankids to do the same. This is one area where hard
money be created or destroyed? Technically, yes.work is the only way to get ahead, but it is always
You could take all your cash and incinerate it in theworth it and will produce the emotional riches you
fireplace, but this is not the right way to think about it. Aalways dreamed of for yourself and your children.
more logical approach to the indestructibility of money"I Have No Idea How To Make or Grow My Money"
is as follows: imagine you are a frontiersman orI could not agree with this more! You do not know
woman and you arrive to the vast plains of Montana inbefore you know. What I mean is that this is something
the 1800s. Through much labor and hard work, youyou need to learn. It is not in our genes and it is not
convert a big expanse of land into a productive farmintuitive. Becoming a savvy saver, investor, wealth
and as a result, you emerge as a wealthy land ownergenerator, etc. are skills that take a lifetime to master.
and farmer. You did not destroy the land, youBut do not get discouraged by that. Instead, get used
transformed it. Before you arrived, the energy of thatto saying that you do not know it yet, but you will
land was serving nature and the animals of the region.eventually. Many worthwhile skills take a lifetime to
Now it belongs to you and you can turn its bounty intomaster. Think about parenthood, for example. We do
cash and become a rich person. You took the energynot come into this world with a clear idea of what it is
of your work and the gift of nature and transformedlike to be parents, but we learn. Trial and error or
them into a cash machine. We can come up withgetting some coaching on the subject can help. We
many other examples, including inventions and newread books about parenting or even articles such as
ways of doing business (such as the Internet), but Ithis one. But wait, may be could do the same with
think you get the point. Energy and money are verymoney skills? Just realize it is a learnable skill and that
close relatives!a lot of progress can be made through reading or by
The Educational Value of Seeing Money as Energyfinding a good mentor. The sooner you start, the
One of the most important milestones in the mentalbetter. Introduce your child to someone who does well
development of children is when they finally make anwith money, or give them a book about financial
unequivocal connection between cause and effect inliteracy and you will probably change their lives forever.
the key areas of their life. Some popular examplesYour Plan to Teach Your Kids About Money In Action
include: if they touch fire, they get burned; if they do notRemember this, whether you consciously teach your
finish their homework, they get a bad grade; if they arekids about money or not, they are picking up your
helpful around the house, they score a nice allowance.beliefs and values on this subject already, so why not
Money is a subject that requires cause and effecttake charge of the process? Take the following simple
thinking in order to be understood and mastered. Whatsteps and see how they work for you:
is most important for kids and young people to grasp- Read this article a couple of times until you get the
is that behavior has a direct impact on a person'sprinciples in it
ability to accumulate wealth. There is nothing- Think about the beliefs you picked up from your own
mysterious about it, it is cause and effect in action. Inparents growing up
other words, there are certain skills and actions that- Decide which if these beliefs are helpful to build a
attract more money to us (saving, budgeting, investing,financially free future
etc.), and there are others that push money away- Choose the beliefs you like and let go of those that
from us (overspending, abusing credit cards, etc.). It isare not helping
that simple.- Have a conversation with your kids about money
To illustrate this point, here are some commonand share your values with them
statements children hear about money. The way- Offer them a good book and help them find a good
these statements are presented is based on emotionmentor. If you can be the mentor, even better
and not on logical or cause-and-effect thinking. TheseRemember to think and speak about money as a
emotionally charged statements diminish your children'sform of energy. Keep in mind that this is a very
ability to think about money logically and are likely toimportant and emotional subject for a lot of people.
seed in them negative beliefs about wealth, whichThis excessive emotion is not helpful and can create
could seriously affect them in the future. See if youlong lasting limitations in beliefs and behavior. The
can spot the logical flaws before reading the"money is energy" metaphor will take the excessive
explanation:emotion out of the conversation and will open new
"That family has money, we do not"doors of thinking for you and your kids, hopefully
While it is probably true that a particular family may beleading to a better future of comfort and financial
presently wealthier than your own, a statement like thissuccess. Try it out.
presents a relative condition (they have more than us