| If I see one me article about how to get a woman's | | | | guys she's going to meet the night I met her or |
| phone number, I'm going to punch someone in the face. | | | | between that night and the time I call? I need to stand |
| Seriously; it won't be the writer, just the next person I | | | | out. Third, I've created a reason to call which involves a |
| see. POW! I'll punch them right in the face . . . then run | | | | deadline; I don't have to worry about calling too soon |
| away really fast. | | | | and how she might interpret that because I have a |
| When it comes to getting a woman's number, I've | | | | clear reason. Fourth, I've practically guaranteed she will |
| seen it all, from asking, "write down your email, oh, and | | | | return my call because, if nothing else, there is a very |
| while you're at it, put your number there, too" (she | | | | strong chance she will feel obligated to call and cancel |
| knows what your up to) to literally demanding the | | | | our tentative date. The bigger the first date I suggest, |
| number if she won't give it to you. Then there's the | | | | the greater the odds she will feel obligated to call me |
| inevitable debate about when is too soon to call and | | | | to cancel. I've suggested expensive theater, concerts, |
| when is too late; the standard is to wait between three | | | | and the symphony as a first date; way too much but |
| to five days. There are scores of articles and | | | | that's where the conversation went. Fifth, I've come |
| discussions about how to get digits, and when to call; | | | | off showing lots of confidence, which women tend to |
| not one about how to make sure she returns your call, | | | | prefer. Finally, with her return call, I have the opportunity |
| mostly because the experts don't have an answer. | | | | to reconnect, which is what I'm really after. |
| Getting digits doesn't mean squat. How many times | | | | I use this practice a lot. It's been at least four years |
| have women not called back? Are you after a | | | | since a woman hasn't returned my call. When she |
| number or a date? I want a date; thus, I need her to | | | | does return my call and we reconnect, the result is me |
| return my call. So, I don't worry about getting digits. | | | | usually suggesting a simpler date, like a drink or dinner. I |
| I concern myself only with the conversation--listening to | | | | won't pretend that I've always gotten the date; I |
| her and responding, inserting flirtatious comments when | | | | haven't. I do get the date about eighty percent of the |
| there's an opening. If I'm still interested, I take something | | | | time, though. Those aren't bad numbers--100% returned |
| in the conversation and ask her out with it. For | | | | calls and 80% dates from those calls. Like anything |
| example, perhaps she mentioned she hasn't been to a | | | | else, it takes practice. If you suggest something big like |
| basketball game in a while or wants to check out | | | | the symphony in the wrong way, you'll come off |
| some new Italian restaurant. I suggest we go--"You | | | | looking desperate, so start smaller. (My background is |
| know that restaurant sounds really good. Let's check it | | | | standup comedy; trust me, timing and delivery are far |
| out. How about next week?" or "I haven't been to a | | | | more important than the actual material.) If she talks |
| b-ball game in ages, either; you know, I think the Bulls | | | | about the symphony, for example, ask her if she likes |
| are in town next week, let's go to a game. What's | | | | other music; suggest an open mic night at a coffee |
| your number? I'll check the schedule and call you." (I live | | | | house or something similar in reply. |
| in Chicago.) The typical answer is, "Ah, yeah, I think I | | | | This technique isn't based on them being women or |
| can do that; I need to check my schedule first." | | | | manipulation; it's based on them being human and |
| I get the digits and continue the conversation. Why? | | | | common courtesy. If, as a guy, I met you out tonight |
| Because I enjoy her company and because I come | | | | playing darts or something and you mentioned you |
| off like a hit and run driver if I rush off immediately | | | | were a huge Sox fan, and I told you I had a friend who |
| after getting her digits. Also, it's quite possible that I'll get | | | | might have a couple extra tickets to the game next |
| something more than digits. If I realize nothing is going | | | | Thursday and asked if you were interested, got your |
| to happen that night, or that I don't want anything to | | | | number and told you I'd call when I knew for sure |
| happen, yet; a little later in the conversation I end it, tell | | | | either way, would you not be expecting a call? Would |
| her it was nice meeting her, and remind her I will be | | | | you not return my call to decline or accept the tickets? |
| calling her about the game or the restaurant or | | | | One of the best things I ever learned was to treat a |
| whatever. I've accomplished a few things: | | | | woman I liked as little like a woman as possible and as |
| One, I've shown her that I am paying attention to her. A | | | | much like an average person I met, as possible. The |
| lot of guys focus too much on their game and not | | | | more I like the woman, the harder that is to do; but, the |
| enough on the woman. In fact, many guys really aren't | | | | more I like her, that is precisely when it is most |
| comfortable with women; they're comfortable with | | | | important for me not to treat her differently. |
| their game. Those are two very different things. | | | | Quit focusing on your game and getting digits; instead, |
| Women notice this and one of their biggest complaints | | | | focus on listening, responding, and getting a date. |
| is that guys don't pay attention to them, more | | | | You're not in a race to get her number or to move on |
| commonly stated as "men are clueless." Two, I've | | | | to the next woman--at least you shouldn't be; get |
| made myself memorable. Who knows how many | | | | comfortable with women, not your "game. |