| id="body"> | | | | trigger yourthoughts, such as agreeing to think of each |
| The biggest problem long-distance spouses often face | | | | other every timeyou see a certain type of bird. Or pick |
| is howto keep emotional intimacy alive when they are | | | | a car with specialmeaning and think of each other |
| separated. | | | | every time you see a red |
| If you are in a long-distance marriage, you are probably | | | | Camaro, for example. Perhaps you will both agree to |
| already using email and the telephone as much as | | | | listen toa certain song on a CD before you go to sleep |
| possible to stay in touch. But what else can you do to | | | | each night,knowing the other person is doing the same |
| stay connected with your partner and not lose that | | | | thing. |
| special bond between you? | | | | Brainstorm about ways you can feel connected even |
| One suggestion is to take the extra time to also send | | | | whenyou're not talking on the phone or emailing each |
| "snailmail" greeting cards, letters, and postcards when | | | | other. Mailyour husband (or wife) a tape of yourself |
| possible. | | | | reading a love poem or sweet letter you have written |
| Buy an assortment of cards when you have a | | | | to him. Send small surprise gifts when you can. They |
| chance, and thatwill make it easier to send out one or | | | | don't have to be expensive; they just need to show |
| two cards each week. | | | | that you're thinking of him. |
| Vary the type of cards that you send--some romantic, | | | | You could order gifts of gourmet candy, nuts, |
| somefunny. You could also send postcards to add | | | | popcorn,flowers, or other items from the Internet. Or |
| variety and show scenes of the geographic area | | | | you could give amagazine subscription to your spouse |
| where you are working. | | | | so she (or he) will think of you each time the publication |
| In your letters and emails, don't only talk about what | | | | arrives. Another idea is to send her a new CD that |
| activities you've been involved in, but be sure to share | | | | you think she'll like or a paperback book. |
| your feelings about what's going on in your life. Ask | | | | Consider creating your own web site where you can |
| feeling-related questions, such as "Do you ever worry | | | | postphotos you both take with a digital camera. The |
| that one day we'll have been married 20 years and | | | | pictures couldshow scenes from your life apart and |
| we'll discover that we don't really know each other?" | | | | also pictures from thetimes you are together. Over |
| Also share memories and experiences from childhood | | | | time, this would document yourhistory as well as your |
| and the years before you met. | | | | current life as a couple. One site thatprovides free |
| Write your spouse a letter telling her (or him)what you | | | | web hosting for family web sites is |
| love about her,what attracted you to her, what you | | | | Other ideas include having a print shop like Kinko's put |
| admire about her, and why you want to stay married | | | | aphotograph of you and your spouse on coffee mugs, |
| to her. Before you send it to her, make a copy for | | | | or having aphotograph put on a T-shirt or sweatshirt |
| yourself and read it once a day to remindyourself of all | | | | for each of you. Ifyou have some common interests in |
| the positives about your spouse. Ask her to dothe | | | | reading or listening toaudio books, pick a book to read |
| same for you. | | | | or listen to at the same timeand then discuss it as you |
| Look for ways to create reminders that will trigger | | | | go along. |
| thoughts ofeach other when you're apart. For | | | | Put on your creative thinking cap and experiment to |
| example, you mightconsider naming a star for your | | | | see whatworks best for the two of you. By using your |
| spouse at the International Star Registry ( Then, each | | | | imagination, youcan deepen your emotional connection |
| starry night, you will both feel connected as you look | | | | with your spouse, eventhough you're physically |
| for "your star." | | | | separated by thousands of miles. |
| You might come up with some other symbols to | | | | |