| I hear from a lot of people who ask me how to know | | | | things solo and you always have a partner. |
| if it's worth the time and effort that it takes to save a | | | | Of course, if things have been rocky for a while, this |
| marriage when things seem really bleak, there seem to | | | | prospect may not excite you. But, you have to see the |
| be too many issues between both spouses, and / or | | | | potential and then be willing to dive in. Because what if |
| they are at a point when it's hard to see a possible | | | | you could get to a place where you really anticipate |
| solution or improvement. I suppose the underlying | | | | seeing and spending time with your spouse again? |
| worry that many people seem to have is something | | | | How much better would that make your life? |
| like "is it really going to be worth it to got through all the | | | | Yes, this requires you to put in a lot of time and effort. |
| work, vulnerability, and effort to save this marriage only | | | | Yes, there may be some awkward exchanges while |
| to have the efforts not stick or to ultimately fail and | | | | you're regaining your footing. But that's OK. Your |
| then in the end all we're really going to be left with is a | | | | spouse is the one person that you should be safe to |
| stale relationship that hasn't worked for a really long | | | | muddle through life with. Honestly, I believe that the |
| time?" | | | | number one cause of married couples "falling out of |
| I suppose that the above scenario would be | | | | love" or "losing the spark" is nothing short of neglect. |
| disheartening and frustrating. But, the real key is | | | | Think about this. When you first fell in love, the equation |
| creating something that doesn't turn out that way. Yes, | | | | went something like this. You spend a lot of your |
| it requires patience, commitment, vulnerability, and trying | | | | spare time together setting up situations where you |
| new things. However the pay out can be great and | | | | could have fun and have pleasurable experiences |
| very rewarding. But to get to this place, you truly do | | | | together that you both enjoyed (even though you may |
| need at least some foundation. There has to be | | | | have been participating in activities that weren't typical |
| something left on which to build or make a new start. | | | | for you or were outside of your comfort zone.) You |
| And a few marriages are just no longer there. In the | | | | were still having a good time because of who you |
| following article, I'll go over some signs or tips off that | | | | were with. You were willing to have an open mind and |
| may indicate that the marriage is either worth saving | | | | heart because you wanted desperately for this to |
| or just isn't likely to be revived. | | | | work out. Each positive encounter and outcome |
| Can You Still See Or Remember Something That You | | | | placed you one step closer to the day you got married |
| Used To Love About Your Spouse Or The Marriage?: | | | | and were very closely bonded |
| One of the requirements for rescuing and transforming | | | | How open is your heart and mind right now? How |
| a marriage is the ability to change your perception or | | | | often do you pour yourself into these shared |
| your misgivings / frustration about your spouse and | | | | experiences? Are you open to them when or if your |
| your relationship. You have to be able to see or | | | | spouse does? Because saving your marriage requires |
| envision some good attributes to inspire you to keep | | | | for you to be open to again finding this common |
| moving forward. | | | | ground and putting in the time necessary to feed this |
| I do understand that it may be quite a while since you | | | | cycle. Marriages can not survive neglect, but most can |
| saw your spouse in entirely positive terms. Still, most | | | | be revived if both people are willing to put in even a |
| people can conjure up positive memories, shared | | | | fraction of the effort that they did when they first met. |
| experiences, or feelings on which to gather motivation. | | | | Is There Really Nothing Left?: I often tell people who |
| Because the truth is, with a lot of work and | | | | ask if there marriage is really worth saving to envision |
| commitment, you absolutely can conjure up these | | | | their spouse walking into a restaurant where they are |
| feelings again. You just have to be open and willing to | | | | eating five years from now. Both of you are with |
| doing so. And, it can take a while for some people to | | | | other people. How do you feel when you see the |
| get to this place. I find it very common that one spouse | | | | other woman (or man) on your husband (or wife's) |
| is on board from the beginning but for the other, it can | | | | arm? Very few people will answer "nothing at all" |
| take some time and some positive pay offs until they | | | | when I ask this question. However, if you truly can, if |
| are able to see the potential that is right in front of | | | | you're feeling indifferent to the outcome or your |
| them. | | | | spouse, then this can be a tip off that you're at the |
| Do You Still Have Common Goals, Interests, Or | | | | point of no return. Because anger, resentment, fear, or |
| Experiences (Or Are You Willing To Rebuild Them?): | | | | holding back can all be overcome. These things can |
| Happily married people spend (or should spend) a lot of | | | | actually be a positive sign because they show that |
| time together. It really helps to have common goals or | | | | you're still feeling emotions. But complete indifference is |
| things that you enjoy together. And many readers | | | | another story. It can be worked through, but it's a bit |
| who are asking themselves if the marriage can be or | | | | more challenging. |
| is worth saving no longer have this glue that holds | | | | However, I sincerely doubt that someone who is taking |
| them together are or wondering if what they do have | | | | the time and effort to research "is my marriage really |
| is enough. | | | | worth saving" is completely indifferent. Your taking the |
| Rather than shaking your head and responding "nope, | | | | time to weigh your options and not make an incorrect |
| we don't have that anymore," be willing to rebuild it. | | | | decision shows me that you are in the former |
| Enjoying time together is one of the huge perks of | | | | category rather than the later. And, I sincerely hope |
| being married. You're no longer delegated to doing | | | | that you now have your answer. |