| Couples visit my counselling practice usually when an | | | | convince your partner to see it your way. |
| issue seems no longer solvable on their own or when | | | | 3. Look after yourself - give each other some space |
| other crisis situations occur. Even though things might | | | | Many couples that I have met, come to expect that |
| get rough at times there is still hope for a continuous | | | | their partner is responsible for their happiness. Even |
| and committed relationship, if both partners have really | | | | though you might now say: 'Of course that is not the |
| decided to give it a go. | | | | case for me!' you need to start acting on it. This |
| Staying committed does not necessarily have to | | | | means that you start looking after yourself, create |
| change just because a couple is facing though times. In | | | | your own hobbies and structure your time the way |
| fact those times specifically show how committed you | | | | you want it to be. If you do not yet know what it is |
| really are in your relationship and how strong and | | | | you want to do, start thinking about it now! |
| healthy the connection is. | | | | 4. Learn to communicate |
| Here are five ways to stay committed when the going | | | | Even though we have never had any formal training |
| gets rough: | | | | we expect to be perfect at communicating even in the |
| 1. Communicate understanding | | | | most emotionally loaded relationship; with our intimate |
| Long term couples are so used to hearing each other's | | | | partner! If you truly want to grow, than you might need |
| issues and stories that the 'problem-solving' need might | | | | to open your eyes to your own strategies and |
| kick in before we even take time to truly listen. | | | | patterns and start to upgrade them. Enroll in a |
| Remember that the goal of your communication with | | | | communication course or a couples' workshop. |
| your partner is not necessarily to seek agreement or | | | | 5. Commit to specific couple time |
| find a solution, but to communicate understanding. | | | | Some couples get busy with lives and forget that they |
| Practice listening to your partner and feed back what | | | | need to organise and devote time to any relationship |
| you have heard without adding your opinion or advice. | | | | they want to flourish, just like any project at work to |
| 2. Expect differences - accept other-ness | | | | which they give their full attention. This might mean |
| If you expect that you will never be upset at your | | | | organising a baby-sitter so you can go out on a regular |
| partner or that there will never be a negative feeling | | | | date-night every week or set aside 30 minutes of |
| between you, then you are denying human reality and | | | | uninterrupted talk-time as a couple. |
| should probably stay single. Finding differences is the | | | | Your relationship will stay committed if you are |
| natural progression any relationship goes through. | | | | committed to it. Commitment is a noun that can only |
| Once you accept that there are things you might | | | | be seen or felt in actions and words - start Now! |
| never agree on as a couple you give up the fight to | | | | |