| I very often hear from people who tell me that they | | | | will talk a lot of pressure off of you and will not make |
| just aren't sure about staying married. I often hear | | | | the situation seem so immediate or dire. With that said, |
| things like "I just don't think I'm in love with my spouse | | | | just because you've given yourself a generous time |
| anymore." Or, "I think that we are drifting apart." Or, | | | | line does not mean that you should not take immediate |
| "we have grown into two different people who just | | | | and definitive action. Things are not going to improve |
| aren't compatible anymore." Of course, just walking | | | | just because you hope they will. You have to take |
| away from your marriage can be heart wrenching. | | | | your hopes and wishes and make them happen |
| Often, you have shared things in your life - children, | | | | through decisive action. |
| homes, responsibilities, etc. that can make this not so | | | | Ease Into The Heavy Issues And Consider Waiting To |
| clear cut. And we haven't even yet mentioned all of | | | | Tackle Huge Problems Until You Are Bonded Again: |
| the history, hopes, dreams, and promises between you. | | | | Many people will go about saving their marriage in a |
| At the end of the day, I think that most people who | | | | backward way. They will sort of shore themselves up |
| write to me are frustrated rather than finished. They | | | | for a long, hard won fight all in the name of saving the |
| don't really want to walk out on their spouse's. But, | | | | marriage. They will anticipate having to make huge |
| they don't know how to fix things either and they | | | | sacrifices and making huge concessions. The problem |
| know for certain that they don't want to continue living | | | | with this is that no one is looking forward to this |
| this way. They don't want to keep walking through life | | | | process. Both people have their guard up. This is not |
| in kind of a daze without any real connection, | | | | the atmosphere that is most conducive to getting a |
| commitment, or the deep bond that they once shared | | | | good outcome. |
| and enjoyed. In the following article, I will offer five | | | | Before you put the cart in front of the horse, it's |
| ways that you can stay commented when the spark | | | | advisable to set things up so that the two of you are |
| begins to fade and the commitment comes into | | | | clicking and are closely bonded again. When you were |
| question. | | | | first dating and issues (even big ones) came up, you |
| Commit To Stay Put In The Marriage For A Defined | | | | likely brushed through them without much fanfare, |
| Amount Of Time: I firmly believe that if one or both of | | | | right? This is because you didn't want to let anything |
| you always have an exit strategy in the back of your | | | | get in the way of the positive pay off that you were |
| mind, you're not going to be as successful in trying to | | | | receiving. So, if you can repeat this process and work |
| work things out or reconcile. Talk with your spouse | | | | with a stronger relationship, you'll often find that the |
| about both of you committing to taking any separation | | | | major and big problems are not so problematic after |
| or divorce off of the table for a reasonable amount of | | | | all. |
| time, which might be 6 months to a year at least. This | | | | |