Marriage Advice - Thou Shall Not Compare Your Spouse to Another

Both husbands and wives are sometimes guilty ofweakness. You must train yourself to see the
comparing their spouse to another man or woman thatstrengths and qualities of your spouse and focus on
they admire, doing this can be detrimental to yourthose things.
marriage because what it shows is that you are onlyOnly think of things that are good, admirable, virtuous,
focusing on your spouse's weakness and not theirand exciting about your spouse. When you focus on
strength and what you focus on will magnify.the strengths of your spouse there will be no need to
By comparing your spouse to another man or woman,compare them to someone else. The fact is that the
you are in a way saying to your spouse that they areperson that you are comparing them to will also have
not good enough. It is a reflection of a judgmental andtheir flaws, you just haven't gotten close enough to
critical spirit that you might posses.them to see it.
Comparing your spouse to someone else will makeEveryone is different; we all have different capabilities
them feel inadequate, they will begin to feel like theyand gifts that are unique to us as individuals. You
are not good enough, they will feel disrespected andcannot therefore compare two different people and
humiliated, and it can even lead to your spouse havingexpect them to match up. Even the most identical of
a low and poor self-esteem.twins have their differences. Expecting your spouse to
Your spouse might even begin to resent the personbe like somebody else will only lead to disappointments.
they are being compared to if it is a mutual friend.Learn to accept and respect your spouse for who
They may even begin to challenge the person theyand what they are.
are being compared to in order to prove their worth, orDon't compare your spouse to an ex-boyfriend or an
show that this person they are being compared to isex-girlfriend. If your ex was so perfect why didn't you
not better than them.marry them instead? Surely there were qualities you
You must learn to see and celebrate the uniquenesssaw in your spouse when you decided to commit the
of your spouse. You must learn to help them in therest of your life to them. May be you need to revisit
area of their weaknesses but not dwell on theirand remind yourself of those qualities.