| In writing this article I rely most from my own personal | | | | provision and runs off to help fortify the nest. He feels |
| experience of marriage of twenty five years this | | | | a painful ongoing echo within saying you are not |
| coming June of this year, 2010. I have had some very | | | | needed here for this happiness. You are not the |
| good, bad, and ugly times in my marriage, but I am still | | | | center anymore and here in lies the simple truth to this |
| married and looking forward to growing older together; | | | | eroding of the happy marriage. I believe most men |
| which was not always the case. I struggled with the | | | | have a hard time adapting to the needs that arise in |
| changes and the challenges that seemed to quickly | | | | marriage because of these three following challenges |
| press against my simple viewpoint of what I thought | | | | 1. Communication |
| marriage was supposed to be like. I think men in | | | | 2. Expressing Their Feelings |
| general, hope to marry someone who will never | | | | 3. Understanding The Needs Of Their Spouse |
| change while most women marry men they hope in | | | | There has been a lot written about the differences |
| time they will help change. Yes, have you ever heard | | | | between the husband and wife, but I believe |
| of this? | | | | Communication is a key to a happy marriage. If a man |
| I used to say in a joking manner, "I wanted to not only | | | | can learn to master communication with his wife it |
| marry someone who looks great, but someone who | | | | doesn't matter what the conflict or issue is it can be |
| can cook great too!" When you are young and in love | | | | worked out. |
| you are quite blind to the natural weaknesses in each | | | | The next struggle in that communication is a man |
| other. In fact you don't really see any weaknesses for | | | | basically needs the woman's touch in understanding |
| quite some time. The guy only starts seeing | | | | and expressing his feelings. Instead of operating from |
| weaknesses in the spouse if he is unhappy or | | | | logic and "fix it" mode he needs to learn to let his hair |
| discouraged in those changes that are fast | | | | down and share his vulnerability or misunderstanding. |
| approaching in this adventure of marriage. It is a slowly | | | | Simply put he doesn't know everything and when he |
| eroding of that "in love" feeling by pointing out the | | | | shares this he might discover that his wife knows |
| changes in career, financial upheavals, or changes in | | | | more about his feelings than he does. |
| the physical looks because of pregnancy and new | | | | The last challenge that a husband has is sifting through |
| patterns observed because of the little children who | | | | all the symptoms he sees from his wife, and be able |
| are taking over the once held haven spaces in the | | | | to determine what the real need is. This is really the art |
| home. Yes your wife has become so absorbed with | | | | of the communication in a marriage relationship. For a |
| all the demands of the family, you have grown weary | | | | husband to cut through all the emotions and feelings |
| from the demands of keeping right the ship and it's | | | | expressed and simply ask, "honey, what is it that you |
| destiny; while along with this you feel the strength of | | | | need right now from me?" Most men operate from |
| the marriage focus and happy feelings distracted and | | | | the know it all or I have you figured out mode which is |
| slowly losing grip in your heart and mind. There is also | | | | detrimental to the wife feeling loved and supported. |
| a truth that most men struggle to even admit is that | | | | As you can see from this article above here is |
| there is a jealousy of the focus and child | | | | perspective from a man; and perspective is everything |
| centeredness of their wife who shows an unintended | | | | when it comes to growing in one's marriage |
| haunting reminder to him you and I are not needed as | | | | relationship. I believe that marriages today are too |
| much. In fact to a guy he may even take it as | | | | quickly given up on because they miss out on the |
| personal rejection feeling left out of the nest circle. This | | | | treasure of growing in these three mentioned |
| is the mother hen and her happy little setting with her | | | | challenges that they must change in; that is grow in to |
| chicks. He flies in after his work day and brings | | | | continue on in stabilizing their relationship. |