| Since I often write about saving marriages and how I | | | | certainly make the most of (and put the effective |
| was able to prevent my own divorce, I'm often | | | | effort into) the time that you do have. |
| approached by women whose marriage has not | | | | Men "fall in love" with a woman who makes them feel |
| reached the separation or divorce phase yet, but who | | | | cared for, cared about, attractive, intelligent, and |
| know that their marriage is in trouble. They want | | | | competent. In order to make your husband feel this |
| advice on how to fix it / make it better so that it won't | | | | way, you have to put in the time and effort. But, you |
| deteriorate so far that it is impossible or very difficult to | | | | have an advantage here for a few reasons. |
| save the marriage. I highly encourage this proactive | | | | First, you probably know your husband better than |
| behavior and taking preventive measures because it | | | | anymore. You know what makes him tick and what |
| can save a lot of heartache later on. You should never | | | | makes him happy. And, you've already acted in such a |
| just leave the health and state of your marriage to | | | | way previously where your husband fell madly in love |
| chance. This article will discuss some things that you | | | | with and married you. Now, you just need to repeat |
| can implement in your marriage right away (even | | | | this process. |
| today) to get it (and keep it) back on track. | | | | Yes, I know that neither of you are the same people |
| Do Not Address Or Try To Fix Any Major Issues Until | | | | who first fell in love. I know that you may look |
| Feelings Of Affection And Empathy Are Firmly In | | | | differently and that your situation may have changed. |
| Place: I know this may sound backward or | | | | This doesn't really matter though, because your |
| contradictory, but please hear me out. I believe from | | | | husband still wants to be loved, respected, cherished |
| my research and from my own experience that | | | | and appreciated and YOU are the person he has |
| picking apart the problems in a marriage can seriously | | | | already chosen for this job. |
| back fire if you try to do it while there is distance or a | | | | Giving Your Husband What He Really Wants Gives |
| lack of intimacy between you. It's a natural inclination to | | | | You More Of What You Want: I often write about |
| want to fix or overhaul what's wrong, but always | | | | these issues and people often tell me that make a lot |
| bringing your husband's attention to what is wrong will | | | | of sense, but sometimes women will tell me that |
| distract his attention away from what is right. And, a | | | | although they think the process may work, they feel |
| marriage that is already in trouble may not be able to | | | | resentful at having to do these things when they are |
| withstand the scrutiny. I know that it is absolutely vital | | | | the ones doing all the work and making all of the |
| to discuss and then fix any issues between you, but I | | | | changes. |
| really believe that you should not try to do this until | | | | I understand this as I felt this exact same way. I used |
| your marriage is firmly back on solid ground. | | | | to really fixate on the fact that my husband was |
| First, Make It Your Goal To Return To A Place Where | | | | wrong and I was right. Then, one day I told a counselor |
| Both Husband And Wife Are "In Love Again:" I want | | | | this and she looked me square in the eye and said |
| you to think about when you were first dating your | | | | "Well, Leslie, would you rather be right or would you |
| husband. I'd be willing to bet you were both blissfully | | | | rather be happy?" |
| happy because you put a lot of time, dedication, and | | | | This shook the analyzing and feet dragging right out of |
| effort into the relationship. This was very likely | | | | me. I wanted to be happy, of course. I may well have |
| reflected back by intense, strong, and positive feelings. | | | | been right, but I didn't want to be indignant and alone, |
| It's vital that return as many of these feelings as you | | | | holding onto my silly injustices while I was going solo. |
| can because people in love generally do not like to | | | | And, I've also learned that if your husband is fulfilled |
| spend their time fighting or creating distance between | | | | and seeing that you are making an effort, this is almost |
| them. | | | | always reciprocal. You're showing him how you wish |
| Now, I know that you have responsibilities and maybe | | | | to be treated by demonstrating it to him. |
| even kids or aging parents to care for. I absolutely | | | | Truly, eventually it turns out to be a win / win situation. |
| know that you don't have as much time for your | | | | You give a little, you get a little and you're both happy |
| husband as you did when you were dating. That's a | | | | in the end. Isn't that what we all ultimately want in our |
| fact for nearly all of us and we can't manufacture | | | | marriage? |
| more than 24 hours in a single day, but you can | | | | |