| om-link"> | | | | I knelt down beside him. |
| I feel like I’ve lost my sense of me — of | | | | Of course I like having fun, I replied, I’m |
| who I am in the midst of it all. | | | | just not about to break my neck running down hills. |
| I don’t get it, sighed one exasperated | | | | I don’t break my neck, Tyler replied |
| parent. Sometimes I wonder where the wonder | | | | simply. It’s fun. |
| went in this game of parenting! I mean, I was so | | | | Well, maybe breaking my neck is a slight exaggeration |
| excited to be a new mom, so full of enthusiasm, love | | | | I thought to myself. And when is the last time I ran just |
| and dreams about life and living. I felt so blessed
| | | | for the fun of it anyway? It seemed like a very long |
| But countless sleepless nights, mountains of diapers, | | | | time ago and I vowed that the very next hill Tyler ran |
| endless power struggles and discipline hassles have | | | | down, I would follow him. |
| dampened my enthusiasm — not just for | | | | I didn’t have to wait long before my resolution |
| parenting, but for life. I feel like I’ve lost my | | | | was tested. Once again, Tyler ran laughing and giggling |
| sense of me — of who I am in the midst of it | | | | down to the bottom of the hill. Come on, Mom! Run! |
| all. | | | | It’s fun! |
| Sounds all too familiar? Have you let the roles, rules | | | | And so I did, and so it was! It was fast and effortless. |
| and obligations of parenthood take over and edge you | | | | When did I ever STOP running? I asked myself. |
| out of your life? Have you become the family | | | | And then I remembered. It was that Canada fitness |
| manager juggling schedules, organizing meals, and | | | | program in grade 5. Somehow, try as I might, I could |
| speaking to your family the way you swore you never | | | | not pass the basic standard time for running around |
| would? | | | | those barrels. I must have run that test ten times, but |
| Parenting is one demanding job — who would | | | | to no avail. Even though I had scored well in every |
| have ever signed up for it if they’d realized all | | | | other event, when it came time to determine the |
| the fine details in the job description: Must be able | | | | medal we would receive, I shall never forget my |
| to work 24/7 - feeding children, cleaning messes, | | | | humiliation as the teacher called me up to receive the |
| washing laundry, dishes and cat litters, buying clothing, | | | | red participation badge. My feet dragged as I |
| groceries, and numerous other essentials (must use | | | | hauled myself past my classmates down the long isle |
| own funds of course — and be prepared to | | | | to receive my reward. My face burned as I felt |
| spend at least $100,000 per child over the span of this | | | | their snickers and silent jeering as they dangled their |
| job which has absolutely no retirement options or | | | | gold, silver, and bronze medals in front of them, and I |
| policy and never ends). Successful applicant will also | | | | resolved quietly to myself that running was definitely |
| have a never ending source of energy to attend | | | | not for me. |
| school gatherings and sports events, and to play with | | | | Ever since that day I had gone out of my way to |
| children and spouse, as required! | | | | avoid running. Funny how I had become so wrapped |
| Yep, there’s no doubt about it — | | | | up in past hurts, so busy in my serious adult life, and so |
| parenting is a tough job and it can wear away at | | | | worried about future scrapes and bruises that I had |
| one’s very core. And what was it that | | | | denied myself the simple pleasures of life. |
| attracted us to this situation in the first place? Oh yeah, | | | | With the encouragement of my three-year-old son, I |
| joy! Love! Delight! Anyone ever feel hood-winked into | | | | remembered the sheer joy and delight of effortless |
| this job? I remember before children visiting my | | | | movement, and even today I rarely miss the |
| brother, wife and family. I arrived early one morning | | | | opportunity to run- providing it’s downhill, of |
| and stole downstairs before the children were even | | | | course! |
| awake
and there they were, all four of them | | | | Running downhill may not be your reminder of joy, but |
| sleeping in their parents’ king size bed. (I have no | | | | your child will provide you countless opportunities to |
| idea where Mom and Dad slept, but little did I | | | | jump in, let go of your need to manage, arrange, and |
| understand such matters then.) Oh! They looked so | | | | schedule life, and simply be here now. |
| cute! How adorable! Old Mother Nature yanked at my | | | | Young children are masters of living in the moment, |
| heart strings, I want one of those! | | | | and joy only lives in this moment. As Eckhart Tolle |
| And so I had my own. And there were many | | | | reminds us in his marvellous book, The Power of Now, |
| moments of pure joy and unbelievable depths of love | | | | if we stay right here, in this moment, there really are no |
| that surged through me. And I wouldn’t trade | | | | problems. Our problems exist only in the anxiety |
| my children or the experience of parenting for anything | | | | gap, which Tolle describes as the gap between |
| in the world. But it wasn’t easy and there were | | | | where we are right now and where our mind has |
| times that I felt buried in the demands and pressures | | | | gone to, mulling over events of the past or fearfully |
| and forgot to focus on the gifts my children had to | | | | anticipating those in the future. |
| offer. | | | | Next time you find yourself buried in diapers or |
| Grateful am I for the gentle reminders they provided | | | | discipline hassles, STOP... Relax, and bring your |
| me with from time to time — reminders that joy, | | | | attention to the moment. Drop your resistance, and |
| delight, love, enthusiasm, and present moment honesty | | | | accept and embrace the moment you are in fully. Let |
| are the real reasons for living. I remember my three | | | | go of your agenda, if only for a few minutes, and be |
| year old son delightfully delivering a wake up call to me | | | | here right now. |
| one fine morning. We were walking home after taking | | | | Join your child in her play. Become curious about her. |
| my oldest to school
| | | | Allow curiosity to open the door to joy. Who is this |
| Come on, Mom, run! It’s fun! | | | | child, really, and what makes her tick? And what about |
| I looked at my three year old at the bottom of the hill | | | | you? What’s going on inside of you? What |
| smiling up at me, and thought, There is no bloody | | | | brings you delight? If you find your own judgements |
| way I am running down that hill! I’ll break my | | | | and inner self talk interfering with your enjoyment of |
| neck. So instead, I carefully manoeuvred my way | | | | your child and of this moment, try replacing those |
| down the embankment, lumbering slowly along until I | | | | judgements with curiosity. |
| caught up to where he was carefully examining his | | | | Try to see life through your child’s eyes. Let her |
| new-found caterpillar friend. | | | | remind you what play is really all about. Dip into the |
| Don’t you like having fun? asked Tyler as | | | | magic of the moment. |