Sharing Your Health Care Wishes

This summer, families will gather across the country toreally want and need to know what her wishes are.
celebrate graduations, weddings, Independence Day,As different as my siblings are, we all have our own
baseball, hot dogs, and apple pie. While sharing a robustidea of what we think mom really wants or needs. An
summer feast at the picnic table, why not take thatadvance directive would alleviate any questions or
opportunity to talk about your health care wishes withpotential disagreements amongst my siblings.
your family and loved ones? Granted talking about"If I were to get cancer," she said, "I don't want to do
dying may not be high on your conversation list, but Ianything about it. I don't want chemo -- just get me
encourage you not to put it off any longer.something for the pain." Knowing my mom as I do, I
As the youngest of five children, I was glad to havewasn't surprised with her approach. I made sure to let
such a conversation with my 81-year-old mom just lastmy four other siblings know of our conversation.
year. I asked her if she had a written plan stating whatAs long as my mother is able to express her wants
health care treatments she would or would not want ifand needs, her advance directives will not be used. In
she could not speak for herself. Of course, she hadthe end, she liked the idea of giving her children the gift
questions for me, too. She wondered why she neededof peace of mind. And we are glad we know what
an advance directive. I explained to her that if she wasshe really wants...to die with dignity. That will be our gift
in an accident or became very ill, we (her five children)to her.